Transgressive behavior at work can be recognized by uncomfortable situations where co-workers or supervisors overstep your physical, emotional or professional boundaries. This can range from overly personal comments to unwanted touching or manipulative behavior. It often doesn't feel right, but you may doubt whether your reaction is justified. This article tells you how to recognize transgressive behavior, how it differs from normal work interactions, and what you can do if you encounter it.

What exactly is transgressive behavior at work?

Transgressive behavior at work is behavior in which someone crosses your personal or professional boundaries without your consent or against your will. It involves situations in which you feel uncomfortable, unsafe or manipulated by the behavior of a co-worker or supervisor. This behavior can manifest itself in a variety of ways: physical, verbal, emotional or psychological.

Physical transgressive behavior includes unwanted touching, standing too close, or disrespecting your physical space. Verbal involves inappropriate comments about your appearance, sexual innuendo, or demeaning statements. Emotional boundary crossing is seen in manipulation, guilt inducing, or taking advantage of your vulnerabilities. Psychological boundary crossing behavior manifests itself in harassment, gaslighting (making you doubt your own perceptions), or systematically undermining your self-confidence.

What makes transgressive behavior so difficult is that it often begins subtly. It escalates gradually, making you doubt whether you're not being too sensitive. But your feelings are an important indicator: if something doesn't feel right, it's important to look at it seriously. The difference between acceptable and unacceptable behavior lies in mutual respect, consent and the effect on your sense of security.

What signs indicate transgressive behavior?

Transgressive behavior is recognized by specific patterns and signals that occur in different forms. Verbal signals are comments about your body, appearance or private life that feel too personal. These may include compliments that are uncomfortable, sexual jokes or innuendo, or questions about your relationship life that are not professionally relevant.

At physical signals involves standing too close, unnecessary touching (for example, hand on your shoulder, back or leg), or blocking your space of movement. It also includes disrespecting your personal space in the elevator, at the coffee machine or during meetings. You notice that your body reacts with tension, turning away or taking a step backward.

Power dynamics and manipulation are less visible but often just as consequential. Think of a supervisor who demands private favors in exchange for professional benefits, colleagues who isolate or exclude you, or situations in which you are punished if you do not go along with inappropriate behavior. Taking advantage of your dependent position (for example, as an intern or temporary contract) is also a clear signal.

Emotional manipulation can be recognized by feelings of guilt aroused in you when you set boundaries, downplaying your feelings ("you're too sensitive"), or turning situations around so that you feel responsible for the other person's behavior. This pattern is often subtle but consistently present.

How does transgressive behavior differ from normal work atmosphere?

The difference between normal work interactions and transgressive behavior lies in mutuality, respect and intent. In a healthy work atmosphere, compliments feel professional and respectful, while transgressive comments make one feel uncomfortable and are often about personal characteristics that are not work-related.

Normal collegiality means drinking coffee together, laughing at shared humor and helping each other. Transgressive behavior is recognized because interactions are one-sided: the other person insists, ignores your signals of discomfort, or makes you dependent on his or her approval. The difference lies in how you feel after the interaction: do you feel valued and at ease, or uncomfortable and exhausted?

Context also plays a role, but it should never be an excuse. A corporate culture in which "shenanigans" are normal does not make inappropriate behavior acceptable. If you indicate that something is going too far and the other person does not respect that, there is a boundary violation. In a healthy work atmosphere, boundaries are respected as soon as you indicate them.

Cultural differences may influence what is perceived as normal, but your sense of safety and comfort is leading. When in doubt, ask yourself: would I feel the same way if others were present? Would I find this behavior acceptable if it happened to a colleague? These questions help you gain perspective.

What do you do when you experience transgressive behavior?

If you experience transgressive behavior, your first step is to taking your own perception seriously. Don't doubt your feelings. If something doesn't feel right, it's important to act on it. Start by documenting what happens: note dates, times, what was said or done, and who was there. This documentation is valuable if you want to take formal steps later.

You can choose to respond directly if you feel safe enough to do so. This can be done by clearly stating, "This behavior is not okay" or "I'm not comfortable with this." Sometimes transgressive behavior stops when you make it clear that you don't accept it. Practice what you want to say ahead of time so you are more confident in the moment.

If responding directly does not work or does not help, there are other steps:

• Discuss the situation with a confidant at work or a trusted colleague
• Report it to your supervisor (unless that person themselves are the problem)
• Engage HR or the internal confidential advisor
• Seek advice from an external confidential advisor or labor inspectorate
• Consider legal action if the situation is serious or not resolved

Take good care of yourself during this process. Transgressive behavior impacts your well-being. Talk about it with people you trust, and seek professional help if you find it is taking a lot of your energy or affecting your daily functioning. You don't have to go through this alone.

How Live The Connection helps with transgressive behavior

Transgressive behavior often leaves deep marks. At Live The Connection, we understand that it's not just about what happens at work, but the underlying patterns that make you vulnerable to these types of situations. Our theme workshop on border crossing helps you see through the mechanisms of transgressive behavior, both in yourself and others.

During this workshop you will learn:

• How to recover after boundary crossing or abuse and re-create a safe inner space
• Recognizing the subtle communicative patterns that enable boundary crossing
• Strengthen your sense of your own boundaries and those of others
• Leaving the victim role behind and moving forward as a healed person

We work with our proven 5-step connection process that allows you to independently reprogram your subconscious mind. This means you don't remain dependent on long-term therapy, but are given the tools to create lasting change on your own. Because boundary crossing is often a family pattern passed down over generations, we offer a holistic approach that integrates body, mind and emotions.

Want to learn how to definitively get rid of transgressive behavior and reclaim your inner strength? Discover our theme workshop on border crossing and take the first step toward sustainable recovery.